


Silence is Golden (But Duct Tape is Silver)

by QueenoftheRandomWord42



Category: Norse Religion & Lore, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Duct tape fixes everything, Loosely inspired by the Norse Myth of the Forging of Mjolnir, M/M, Morbid subject matter is discussed but not shown, Nekkid Loki, Nekkid Thor, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, The fan fic where Thor and Loki are naked and tied to a post, Threats of Violence, a mythbusters reference, dashing rescues, what happens when your date gets interrupted by kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 23:23:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18974506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheRandomWord42/pseuds/QueenoftheRandomWord42
Summary: “‘Tis another fine mess, brother,” Thor grumbled as he fought against his bindings, and he could feel his brother turn to glower at him over his shoulder. “Look what you’ve gotten us into.”When Thor tries his hand at negotiating with a clever enemy of Loki and finds him and his brother kidnapped to fix a debt, it is up to Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, and Steve Rogers to rescue them.And all Thor and Tony wanted to do was go on their date, was that so much to ask?A Cap Reverse Big Bang Fic





	Silence is Golden (But Duct Tape is Silver)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Another Fine Mess](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18973903) by [Amberdreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberdreams/pseuds/Amberdreams). 



> Special thanks to the Mods of the Captain America Reverse Big Bang Mods for being so patient with me while I moved and dealt with some unexpected hours at work.  
> Special thanks to obsessivereader for their stellar work as my beta reader, seriously this fic wouldn't have been posting ready without your help.  
> And last but definitely not least, special thanks to Amberdreams for the fantastic art that inspired this fic and the wonderful Banner art, seriously go check out their work!

“‘Tis another fine mess, brother,” Thor grumbled as he fought against his bindings, and he could feel his brother turn to glower at him over his shoulder. Behind him, he could see the organically crinkled stained glass window of the Dwarven ship’s walls, and the enchanted wooden pole pressing against his bare back. “Look what you’ve gotten us into.”

“I’ve gotten us into?” Loki protested, the charms behind them weakened all illusions and glamors and gave Loki’s skin a blue tint, revealing his Jotun heritage.“If you had lost that fight more naturally, I wouldn’t have lost that bet, would I?”

Thor maneuvered his wrists a little in the hopes he could twist his hands out of the rope pressing his bare arms against his sides. No such luck and Thor loved his brother, but the griping had gotten on even his patient nerves.

“Loki, you are not blaming this on me, that Grandmaster of yours was the one who cheated with those damned obedience disks of his!”

“Quiet!” their captor shouted, his steps thundering as the Dwarven Smith approached them.

Unlike his brother Eitri, the very Dwarf who forged Mjolnir, Brokkr was a little more mercenary.

Brokkr also wasn’t a part of the deal Asgard had with the rest of the Dwarves of Nidavellir; Asgardian protection in exchange for the dwarven crafting skill.

Loki was foolish enough to bet a lot of money against Thor when the brothers were on Sakaar, with Brokkr betting on the “Lord of Thunder”.

What Loki didn’t count on was Brokkr getting off Sakaar during the massive slave revolt that overthrew the Grandmaster or Brokkr seeing the Grandmaster grow bored and press the button making the Hulk the mighty victor of his and Thor’s battle.

Loki didn’t count on Brokkr making the argument that the Grandmaster interfered in Thor’s fight with the Hulk or “The Grandmaster’s Grand Champion”, and decided that rendered Loki’s won wager invalid.

Winnings that Loki didn’t redeem on Sakaar and any wealth he had access to on Asgard were gone when Asgard was destroyed with Hela by Surtr.

About a year or two after Thor had gotten New Asgard settled and his people re-establishing themselves, Brokkr arrived, determined to get what he was owed for some reason.

When Thor tried to negotiate on Loki’s behalf, his first attempt at being King of New Asgard, it was an understatement to say negotiations ended badly. Brokkr just decided instead of money Loki didn’t have, he’d take the their heads instead.

Thor made the horrifying discovery that the only thing Thor had to offer of Dwarven value, were their skulls and it appeared that Asgardian and Jotun skulls were key ingredients for a special type of crude and--even by Dwarven standards--barbaric adhesive that Brokkr could use to repair his ship. Judging by the state of the ship, Brokkr would need a lot of adhesive glue before he could return to his brother Eitri.

So when negotiations failed, Brokkr took both Loki and Thor with him, so far thankfully, alive to his broken down ship where both brothers were currently tied up and regretting their actions. Thor was confident Eitri would help them, but by the time Eitri would be told about this, it would already be too late.

“Well I could try and persuade him to spare us, I have an idea.”

“Loki, for the last time I don’t think surprising Brokkr with another one of your daggers, or turning into a snake will do us any good, it’s why he decided to complete a strip search, and tie us naked to this post.”

“That was my attempt at seduction Thor, how was I supposed to know that Brokkr wouldn’t be receptive to my advances,” Loki hissed. “Even my female form did nothing.”

“I have the feeling more trickery will only diminish Brokkr’s patience with us,” Thor observed, feeling the footsteps increase in strength.

“Well you could try further negotiations, see where that gets us, oh wait, that’s how Brokkr managed to capture and tie us up in the first place,” Loki grumbled.

“I can hear you two scheming, and I have no patience for debt dodgers and elaborate escape attempts. I expected more from the sons of Mother’s friend,” Brokkr boomed as the room door slid open and he knelt down to double check Thor and Loki’s bindings, making them slightly tighter than they were a moment ago.

Brokkr was shorter and stockier than his brother Eitri, with massive shoulders and biceps the size of Midgardian mini-vans, with a long braided mustache bound by gold and copper rings. His black beard, normally woven in a basket weave braid with fine gems and fiery opals, was now haggard and messy with a handful of gems missing.

His once fine clothing was littered with burn marks and holes.

“And I expected better from the man who single-handedly helped Eitri make Mjolnir. How would Eitri feel to find out you killed us to fix your ship?”

Brokkr took a long deep breath, and a long exhale and looked Thor right in the eye.

“I would rather live in a world where my brother resented me because of my actions than live in a world where Eitri was dead because of my inactions.”

Then Brokkr left the room to go back to repair the ship’s engines.

“Oh and don’t try that biting fly trick again, I almost crushed you last time Loki Liesmith!”

Thor turned and noticed his brother glower at Brokkr’s retreating back, “He’s, how do the Midgardians phrase it? Got your number.”

“Oh shut up, Thor,” Loki rolled his eyes, “it’s not like you had anything better besides running New Asgard.”

“I did actually,” Thor said, turning his head to glance at the wall, “I had a date.”

“With who, Brother, with who?”

***

“Boss, the novelty duct tape shipment for the interns is in,” Friday announced as Tony stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Ah good, let’s get those to Peter and Harley’s workstations.” Tony quickly used a smaller towel to dry his hair, turning to glance at his face in the mirror for trimming his goatee and brush his teeth.

“Very well, sending the ‘tiny skulls on motorcycles’ to Harley’s station, and ‘Spiderman’ to Peter’s, and you also receive a bonus of Ironman duct tape sent to your workstation.”

“Excellent,” Tony said, pulling back from the mirror, and glanced at the time that appeared on his mirror. He needed to get a move on, or he’d be late for his date with Thor.

His tools were put away, the bots were charging, and Friday was flashing the reservation reminder on to the mirror as he was brushing his teeth.

He also had the perfect outfit selected, sexy with pants that did wonders for his ass, but not too sexy to risk being risque--the underwear he selected was for that job if all went well tonight-- and Tony had no time for distractions if he wanted to pick up Thor from the quinjet hangar and make their reservations.

“Boss,” Friday interrupted his thoughts as he walked into his bedroom to get dressed.

“What is it Friday, we’re a little short on time, so you’ve got to make this quick.”

“I have Captain Rogers, Agent Romanov, and Sargent Barnes coming in, they said they have urgent news from New Asgard.”

If Tony Stark dropped his sexy underwear, well that was nobody’s business besides his and Friday’s.

Fifteen minutes later in the conference room, in business casual, Tony walked in to see his “guests”.

“So tell me again what happened?” Tony asked as he took a seat.

“We’re getting a second call with details coming in, but they suspected they needed Avengers help,” Natasha said from her seat while Captain Rogers--no longer Steve to Tony--frowned pensively at some data--data of potential coordinates of where Thor and Loki disappeared.

“Sir, phone call from New Asgard,” Friday announced, “Putting it on speaker phone now.”

“Hey man, this is Korg, from New Asgard. Is this the Avengers I am speaking to?” The speaker seemed to have a friendly New Zealand accent, and Tony quickly connected it to the Korg Thor spoke of a few times when they hung out after Thor arrived on Earth, and the pain of Tony’s break up with Pepper had subsided.

“Yes Korg,” and like a habit, almost as if the Sokovian Accords never happened, Captain Rogers took charge.

“Well, some of them anyway,” Tony added, glancing around the mostly empty room. Rhodey was off speaking with some vets with leg braces and the recently pardoned Sam Wilson was with him. Tony personally apologized to Sam about the actions taken during the events that happened before and after Germany, and Sam partially forgave him, so Tony gave him space so Rhodey and Sam’s friendship could happily walk off into the sunset.

Vision and Wanda were off somewhere, and Hawkeye and Ant-man were back with their families while Bruce was in New Asgard.

“Oh good, well we are narrowing down the coordinates, thanks to the help of Dr. Banner and Valkyrie, so we should be able to give you the intel needed for you to stop the kidnapper, so I should probably give you a quick debriefing yeah?” Korg asked, but then pressed on quickly. “Thor was last seen with his brother Loki on their way to talks with Prince Brokkr of Nidavellir, younger brother to King Eitri of the Dwarves. Loki, I understand, had amassed some massive gambling debt on Sakaar--a quite common problem I saw a lot from my days on Sakaar--a few years ago, Loki didn’t have the funds, and Thor tried to intercede.”

Korg took a deep breath and continued. “So to make a long story short, Thor and Loki were taken by Brokkr to settle the gambling debt, so New Asgard and I’m sure the Avengers, would quite like them back.”

“Excellent timing Korg, we got the coordinates,” a woman’s voice interrupted, “I knew installing that tracker chip in Thor when I caught him the first time would come in handy. Bruce found Thor somewhere off the coast of Nova Scotia, using your Midgardian satellites, and you guys might want to leave quickly. You’re closer to the coordinates than we are.”

“Thank you,” Steve said, and he reached forward to hang up but Valkyrie--or Tony was assuming that was the famous “Valkyrie” who Thor considered naming his heir multiple times--ushered them to leave right away, so no time to grab the other Avengers.

“I’ll meet you at Brokkr’s ship,” Valkyrie said, with additional sounds that gave Tony the mental image of her clambering onto the back of a horse, “Bruce and Korg will keep New Asgard running until we return.”

“What do we need to know about Brokkr?” Steve--no Captain Rogers now, Steve is dead to Tony--asked..

“Brokkr is physically stronger than his older brother, and is an the-ends-justify-the-means character. I had a few run-ins with him when he was on Sakaar like I was, but he doesn’t think like normal people, sometimes making him hard to decipher,” Valkyrie said, they heard her winged pegasus stamped the ground. “Do not underestimate him, he’s a powerful fighter, and the kind of man that outwitted Loki somehow.”

The call ended the moment the pegasus took off.

Tony rushed to the cockpit, Natasha taking the copilot seat, and Tony was glad not to have to face Captain Rogers and his murderous sidekick for a little while longer.

Instead, he punched in Valkyrie's coordinates, and began taking off.

***

“I see I shocked you into silence, Brother,” Thor announced breaking said silence, and a few moments passed by before Brokkr began fiddling in the engine, and a growl that sounded frustrated when Brokkr grumbled about a broken “useless luxury system that’s not necessary, Ei.”

“Tony Stark, your Ironman, that’s who you chose to court after Lady Jane?” Loki asked, “And he’s not as young as her, so that means you’ll have less time and start grief sooner once he inevitably passes on.”

“Tony and I are well aware of our mortalities, Loki, that sometimes makes the time you spend with someone all the more precious, like how the Captain spent as much time as he could with his lost love Peggy Carter before she passed on,” Thor nodded, “Tony also makes me laugh.”

“Bah, waste of time if you ask me,” Brokkr grumbled from the engine, “and then things get so messy so quickly, they start yelling at you for something you don’t understand and refuse to tell you what’s wrong because it ‘should be obvious, blah blah blah’, and it might distract from productive time in the forge when you have a deadline.”

“Sounds like someone who doesn’t understand love,” Loki said raising his voice a little, and Thor turned to raised eyebrow at Loki, but Loki mouthed ‘Play along or shut up,’.

Thor decided to shut up and see what happened.

“Lovers in general are difficult, and that sounds like a foolish attempt to goad me into giving you plenty of ammunition for you to trick me, Loki,” Brokkr said, walking into the room, wiping glowing pink engine grease off his fingertips with a rag. “But Thor, you strike me as a man who would do anything for his brother’s well being, so perhaps you would understand where I’m coming from.”

Thor could feel his brother jolt like he was throwing Brokkr an offended look.

“I serve only one man,” Brokkr snapped, his eyes flashing, “and while Eitri rarely agrees with my methods, I would honor his wishes. Until now.”

Brokkr dropped the rag, and took a deep breath, his voice cracking in honest emotion. “Now, one of my agents has told me of a great threat to my people, and possibly the fate of the universe, and I know my brother, if Thanos comes, my brother will give in to any demand he makes, only with the false promise that it’ll protect our people.”

“But I have received troubling intel, and at a great personal cost, that Thanos has no observable dwarven honor. None but his own delusion that wiping out half the galaxy will save it, a trauma most likely to severely damage the other half,” Brokkr continued, his green eyes earnestly entreating Thor to agree with him. “Thanos is coming for my people first because of what we can make, a weapon, and I came to Midgard to pick up something I’m certain will keep Thanos away, or at least stop him.”

Brokkr raised his finger up, and Thor followed the finger as it punctuated the next five syllables, “but obtaining the key to Thanos’ defeat damaged my ship, and I need an adhesive powerful enough to withstand leaving this planet’s atmosphere. One way or another, you and your brother will help me save my people.”

“Then why not get adhesive from the Midgardians, or have our people manufacture some?” Thor asked.

“Truly? So tell me, when did the Midgardians become advanced enough to make ships that are able to leave their own star system and have them market available?” Brokkr snorted derisively, “They can’t even agree on their own defense against intergalactic threats, I know they were short witted and ungrateful enough to attempt to bomb their own people while you were trying to clean up Odin’s unfortunate decision to not tell his own child he was adopted from a young age and then reassure that child he was still loved regardless. Stupid rats, the lot of them.”

Thor glanced at Loki, and Loki turned his head away in what could be read as shame.

But Brokkr wasn’t done. “Plus one of my agents witnessed the screw up that was Sokovia and the effective way their politics caused pointless rifts in the aftermath, further weakening Midgard’s current defenses. If Thanos were to arrive, all of you would be wiped out after a short and bloody battle. So you and your brother must pay me what I am owed, and I need that payment now, or the entire galaxy will face terrible consequences.”

***

For most of the swift flight on the quinjet it was very quiet.

“So, ” Natasha asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, “how’s Pepper doing?”

“Pep? She’s doing really good, she’s currently taking her new girlfriend to Nice for a short vacation before she meets with Stark Industries’ French division.” Tony shrugged, Pepper’s pansexuallity wasn’t a big deal during their entire relationship.

After the initial hurt faded, Tony liked to think their friendship got even stronger.

In fact, when the said girlfriend arrived with a lunch for Pepper, Tony got to see how the two worked even better together on even the cutest couple-y things.

When he was with Pepper, Tony admitted he was a handful, and there were moments where Pepper confessed she cared for him deeply, but sometimes it was almost like she was a mother of a teenager with him, and her new girlfriend was nothing but self sufficient, and had enough initiative to give Pepper the royal treatment she deserved.

Also Pepper and her new girlfriend were hot together, especially when Sif would bench press Pepper while Pepper read books on mystical health lifestyle ju ju or something. For an hour, without missing a beat.

Point was Pepper was happy, so Tony was happy, and Happy was trying to make the moves on the Kid’s Aunt May, so Tony wished him luck too.

“Sounds romantic,” Natasha observed.

“Very,” Tony agreed with a grin, but that grin slid off when he remembered his own romantic plans, and a cancelled reservation.

“We should be arriving in about twenty minutes so you better start getting ready,” Natasha announced from the co-pilot seat.

“Not that it’ll take me that long,” Tony muttered. He stepped back as the nanobots formed most of his suit, but he kept the helmet open so he could observe the Otter Pop Twins in the back. The Winter Soldier nervously began cleaning weapons coming out of the weapon’s locker labeled “N. Romanova”, while Rogers seemed to be looking at some sort of diagram on a tablet.

“Hey, Red Death, should the Terminator 2000 be messing with your guns?” Tony asked. No, he was not tattling on the Winter Soldier to the Black Widow….

“It’s fine Tony, he owes me a favor for this,” Natasha called, and Tony glanced back at Barnes, who he could swear was blushing instead of looking smug. Some part of his mind couldn’t help but wonder in amazement, what did she do to him?

Well, that at least meant that he didn’t need to worry about giving him a weapon.

“Tony, can I speak to you for a moment?” Steve asked softly.

“Oh no, this isn’t going to be touchy-feely-cry-on-each-other’s-shoulders-time is it?” Tony asked.

“Only if you want it to be,” Steve quipped back, and damn did that bring Tony back to before Ultron.

Tony tried to push away the memory of Thor trying to repair their friendship. It lead to a short argument that Tony forgave Thor for, believing that it came from a good albeit naive place.

But Tony didn’t begrudge Thor deciding to keep his friendship with Captain Traitor, especially after the Sokovian Accords fell through, and Tony needed to make peace with the guy if they were going to be working together, temporarily.

“Look, I am only working with you to save Thor,” Tony began, and he saw Steve purse his lips and slowly nod. “You might have been right about the Sokovian Accords not holding up water, but you were still wrong about keeping what Barnes did to my parents from me. I don’t care that it was a long time ago, and yeah now I’m starting to make my peace about their passing, but I still had a right to know.”

Steve sighed and nodded. “Yes, you did have the right, but I got the information from an unreliable source, and Zola had a history of lying to people, especially when SHIELD’s involved.”

Tony noticed Barnes twitch in the corner of his eye, and it unfortunately reminded him of that time shortly after Afghanistan where Tony accidently splashed cold water on to his face in the shower. The water took him right back to when he was held by the Ten Rings, and they waterboarded him, the cold water trickling down his face as he instinctively fought to gasp air and keep water out of his lungs. He came back when JARVIS coached his breathing, and he never reentered the shower until the water was steaming after that.

It took him awhile to make his peace with what happened with the Ten Rings, and he lost track of how many times Pepper had to force him to give therapy a try until after he faced down Killian and actually tried therapy.

Talking to Bruce’s sleeping form about his life story counted as therapy right?

Well now he could successfully take cold showers again, not that he would need to when Thor was a phone call away.

“So you just decided that what Zola had to say was fake news instead of, oh I don’t know, checking those Hydra Records you dumped on the Internet yourself and Snopes it?” Tony snapped with a raised eyebrow. “I expected better from you Cap.”

“Well you could have looked it up yourself, for all you know Hydra could have infiltrated into Stark Industries like they did with SHIELD,” Steve argued.

“As a matter of fact, I did. Me and JARVIS did, and we cleaned house by turning the Hydra people over to the proper authorities and hired Maria Hill after SHIELD fell, and she did a fantastic job getting rid of anything we missed,” Tony insisted.

“Hey, we’re getting to the coordinates, so you guys might want to stop bickering and get ready to rescue Thor and Loki,” Natasha called from the cockpit.

“This isn’t over,” Tony announced, his helmet sliding shut with a click. “I’m only going along with this because I know for a fact that I’ll need you and your plucky sidekick here to help me rescue Thor.”

Tony made his way to the cockpit and the coordinates led them to open ocean.

“So where is this ship?” Barnes asked from behind Natasha’s seat.

“Well the coordinates are accurate, and radar seems to be picking something up underwater,” Natasha pointed out.

“Does this thing have a submarine mode or something?” Barnes asked, somewhat bewildered, and Tony could never resist showing off nice tech he engineered.

Thor enjoyed talking shop with Tony, and would grin and indulge Tony. He claimed that a passionate Tony was was an excitable Tony, and that led to the best sex.

“Oh my dear killer bot, does it ever?” Tony said, pulling up the app to turn on Amphibious mode, and they dove into the water.

Water splashed up over the windshield and Tony could hear the engines switch from jet mode to propeller mode, the quinjet turning watertight and the pressure that often kept them comfortable at altitude began to build to maintain buoyancy, headlights flashing on to allow them to see what was ahead of them.

And it looked like a strange alien-looking ship crashed into somebody’s evil underwater lair.

“Huh,” he muttered when he saw the logo while Barnes and Rogers began to swear creatively.

“Language,” Tony teased darkly when the lights flashed over a bright red and black logo of a skull with tentacles on it. And the front door looked like it had been smashed in by part of the ship with bubbles seeping up from the cracks.

And from the state of the ship, they didn’t have much time.

***

The room was silent after Brokkr’s pronouncement.

“You say you need your payment, but will you make a claim for more than is owed?” Loki asked suddenly, and Thor had a funny feeling about this.

“What are you talking about, no I will not take what is not mine!” Brokkr exclaimed.

“Well if you take our heads, you’ll have to damage our necks, and I believe our necks are not part of the deal you made,” Loki pressed on.

Brokkr stared at Loki, then gently pressed a large index finger up against Loki’s chin, and gingerly lifted his chin up to examine how Loki’s neck attached to his head.

“You’re right, I have no claim to your necks, your necks are yours and yours alone, but fortunately for me, I have a claim to your lower jaws, and I have no use for those when it comes time to make the glue,” Brokkr finished. “But don’t worry, you’ll be humanely put down before that happens so you won’t feel a thing. So get comfortable, you still have some time to make peace.”

Brokkr then stood up, picked up the rag, and went back to working on the engine.

“Well that sure showed him,” Thor said to Loki, carefully twisting his wrist against the ply of his bindings, his thumb almost over the edge of the rope. Thankfully Brokkr was right about one thing, they had some limited time left to make their move.

Thor tugged and twisted for a few moments, and with a quiet grunt and some mild rope burn, freed his hand from the lower bindings.

He was still bound at the elbow, and his shoulder twinged a little at the sudden movement that got his hand free, but Thor made some progress as he tried to feel around the rope for any knots or weak points.

After finding nothing with his free hand, he took his chances to pull his other hand out, still no knots within reach.

“Loki, I think we have enough slack in the rope that you should have your hands loose, could you--”

“No need, Brother, I’m already working on the knot that’s binding our waists to this pole,” Loki muttered, before Thor felt the rope binding them loosen, the rope around their shoulders still tight against their chests.

“Okay our hands are free, can we reach the other rope?” Thor asked, and after a few moments and some straining, it turns out that no, they could not.

“Alright, Plan B, we break down this pole,” Thor muttered, and he pulled his feet in under him and began to push himself up to standing position, Loki following suit, likely because he had little choice.

“Alright, on the count of three, we’re going to find a weak point by pushing against it,” Thor began, and Loki grumbled his assent and both began to push.

Nothing happened.

“Wait, I have a better idea,” Loki announced, “Thor, we’re going to take turns pushing, and we’ll see if that weakens the pole.”

Loki counted to three, and both began to take turns pushing on the pole. Thor could feel the pole give in a rocking motion before the pole slid out of its foundation and fell to the floor, taking Thor and Loki with it.

“Now what, Brother?” Thor asked from his position on the floor.

“This was your idea,” Loki grumbled.

***

“Well, the good news is, this place is air tight and abandoned, the bad news is we need to find a way to get into the spaceship,” Tony observed as they left the Quinjet to investigate the hangar inside.

“And judging by the leaks, we have a limited amount of time to safely evacuate Thor and Loki once we get in,” Rogers observed.

Barnes and Natasha took the Quinjet out of the hangar to return to the surface to pick up Valkyrie, hoping to put her knowledge of alien ships to good use to break into the ship.

They stood awkwardly in silence, Tony scanning the ship with Friday’s help, while Rogers searched the surrounding for either clues, or a door leading to what looked like the ship’s airlock, which appeared to be wedged in to one of the walls. It probably spoke to the integrity of the space ship’s design that it didn’t crumble or buckle upon collision, if anything the ship appeared to get through with some minor scratches and a few loose panels. At least on the outside, the inside was likely a different story.

Tony’s engineering mind was coming up with multiple solutions, but this wasn’t the time.

“Well, it looks like this place has long been abandoned,” Rogers observed, pointing to a thick layer of dust, “but looks can be deceiving, we best be careful.”

“I’m always careful,” Tony quipped, and Rogers chuckled a little.

“Well I’m not picking up anything on the sensors here, and from what I’m scanning, the airlock to the ship appears to be on an upper floor, puncturing the hangar wall in to the inside of the base,” Tony observed, and glanced at Rogers, who gestured to a door.

“No time like the present.”

The door was unlocked, which Tony would observe was a serious security no no, as if they were convinced that heroes wouldn’t just stumbled upon their secret base, but then closer examination of the double doors to one of the labs made Tony second guess that. “The locks look like they’ve been forced in,” Tony observed.

“So somebody broke in, but for what?”

“Beats me,” Tony shrugged. “There’s some sort of strange dander over everything in this lab, I can’t get a good read on it.”

“Maybe the lab has logs, but we need to find that airlock, and we need to find it fast,” Steve urged. He gestured to the wall at the back of the lab.

On the wall was an old computer monitor from the 90s, that was showing a video on loop with a frenzied lab assistant screaming that they couldn’t contain the specimen before he got dragged off screen, it was very John Carpenter's The Thing-esque.

“Way ahead of you, Cap,” Tony said with a shudder, and they left the lab, with a note to check it out later after Thor had been rescued and they resumed their date with a very grateful Thor willing to show his gratitude to Tony afterwards, heck they might just skip dinner out and eat in, Thor wasn’t a picky eater, and Tony wasn’t opposed to pizza on date night.

Before they left the lab to find the stairs, Tony heard a familiar voice.

“Obie?” Tony asked in a horrified gasp.

“Stark’s on the move, I think he’s transferring something he’s been working on, won’t tell me what it is, but as long as Stark Industries are making their bottom line, I don’t really care, but I expect he and his wife will be in transit on the 19th at 6PM on their way to the Pentagon, then vacation.”

“I think it’s a recording,” Steve observed, and they quickly backtracked to an old cassette tape, it appeared to be on autoplay for some reason.

Tony turned around as saw an old tape playing. It appeared to also be playing on loop, and Tony realized they must have walked into hearing range. Around it were a bunch of cassettes thrown carelessly around the machine and the cassette player looked like the play button was smashed in permanently by a gigantic finger.

“And what of the woman? We only send the Asset after individual targets, he’s most efficient when there is no collateral,” a voice with a Russian accent asked in the recording. “Easier to make a ghost story if there is little evidence to leave behind, and his training to destroy evidence can only work so far, we’ll need proof he did the job correctly, and we’ll need to remove it as soon as possible.”

“That’s Lukin’s voice.” A third voice, and Tony jumped when he realized that wasn’t a recording, instead it was Barnes with Natasha holding him on the shoulder, and Valkyrie stood behind them huffing impatiently.

Tony felt drenched in ice again when Obadiah Stane’s recorded voice came back on again, “There’s a traffic camera on the road leading to their house, that could serve as the proof I’ll need as evidence that your asset didn’t screw this up. You can take it back after I’ve seen it. Consider the woman’s life as my repayment. With her out of the way, Tony will be much more susceptible to being under my control, his mother doesn’t approve of me spending much time with him. Better he starts taking over his father’s place in the company then off screwing around getting college degrees and sleeping with bimbos.”

“That’s harsh,” Valkyrie observed, and Tony felt sick.

“My orders were for both, I’m so sorry Tony.” Bucky began, panic filling his voice, and Tony had a feeling Barnes was remembering what happened last time Tony was confronted with the truth about his parent’s death. “I couldn’t fight the orders, not with the words, always the words.”

Once again Tony noticed some familiar symptoms he had to get help for after the Battle of New York.

“Boss, Barnes’ heart rate is elevating, I think he might be having an attack,” Friday began urgently into Tony’s ear, and Tony had to make a choice.

Tony fired a repulser shot at the cassette player, utterly obliterating the thing, and filling the room with an eerie silence, punctuated by Barnes’ breathing.

“Tony?” Steve began nervously.

“We have a Thor to rescue guys, I’m done letting Hydra tear us apart.”

“What the hell just happened?” Valkyrie asked, but Tony pushed past her.

“Come on, the airlock’s gotta be upstairs and we don’t have much time left before either A) Thor and Loki are killed, or B) this place fills with water and the whole thing capsizes with us inside,” Tony grumbled, starting up the stairs, apparently this place didn’t have elevators.

The group followed behind him.

Once they were on the second floor, Tony’s scans directed him straight to the locked airlock and he stepped aside to let Valkyrie hack her way through the door.

“Wait Stark, that’s the trap do--” Barnes began in a panic, and Tony felt something drop before he quickly turned his repulsors on.

Of course what was an evil lair without a booby trap?

Barnes quickly shot at a pendulum that swung from the ceiling before Tony detected it, and it fell harmlessly into what looked like a bottomless pit.

“Uh, nice save?” Tony asked, but he was confident he could have taken care of that himself. He just had to have known it was there, first, that’s all.

“No problem,” Barnes said.

“Hey if you guys are done talking, Valkyrie’s got the door open!” Natasha shouted, and then they heard the sound of chaos inside.

***

Once on the floor, Thor began to shift to regain his footing, and he felt the rope slacken slightly as the pole slid up his body and over his shoulder, bending at his waist slightly to help progress the sliding process along.

“Time to run,” Loki reported, the instant they heard Brokkr drop whatever he was working on and his thundering footsteps grow louder as he approached.

Thor tried to run forward, and felt a sharp tug backwards as Loki apparently tried to do the same thing. The tugging caused the two to stumble, but Thor managed to stay on his feet.

“Loki, lean back,” Thor shouted and he felt his brother lean to comply. So Thor leaned forward and began to run with his brother balanced on his back, and he could feel his brother kicking at Brokkr to keep Brokkr from getting a grip on them as they slid past the door Brokkr opened to check on them, and Thor began to make a mad dash to the exit.

“Loki, can you feel your seder now?” Thor asked, the further away from the wards, he began to feel a slight electrical charge in his limbs, a slight feeling that he was regaining his electrical power.

“Not… yet,” Loki grunted, and Thor left him be, more determined to get some distance between them and the rapidly gaining Brokkr.

“Deal breakers!” Brokkr exclaimed, “How dare you beseech your mother’s honor with such deception!”

“Look, we never agreed to give you our lives in this deal, you decided that for yourself!” Thor tried to bargain, “but I’m certain we can come up with an agreement where both parties are happy with.”

And alive, Thor added silently to himself.

“Unless the Midgardians have invented a miracle adhesive strip or something that is strong enough to fix the inside of my ship, then you’re out of options, Thor Son of Odin!” Brokkr exclaimed, and Thor could hear the dwarf exclaim in peak frustration.

That was when Thor accidently bumped into, or more probably Loki kicked it over, a box with a force field containing the opening.

It fell with a clatter and Brokkr shouted with alarm as the thing gave a high pitched guttural yowl.

“No, not the secret weapon!” Brokkr exclaimed, and Thor didn’t waste time sprinting out of the room, dragging Loki behind him.

And right ahead of him was Tony in his Ironman suit, repulsor out, palm first. Thor ducked behind Tony, feeling the rope binding him Loki tug at his arms and chest when his brother flailed.

“Well, I was going to comment about you being late for our date, Thor, but I have to admit I was planning on saving the bondage until after we established safe words,” Tony quipped.

“Oh believe me, Anthony, if this was according to my plan, I would have used silken ropes of gold and crimson for your pleasure,” Thor said in a husky tone, almost forgetting that he was being chased, but it was a little nice to be protected for a moment, at least until he got out of these blasted bindings.

“Brother, could we please not talk about this while I am tied naked onto your back?” Loki whined from his perch.

“Seconded,” Captain Rogers grumbled.

“Thirded,” echoed the Soldier of Winter and Agent Romanoff.

Valkyrie, as Thor expected rolled her eyes and muttered “Phff, amateurs.”

Brokkr rounded the corner, but then froze as he looked at the assortment of weapons, guns and repulsors aimed in his general direction, the box containing his secret weapon stashed gently to the side.

“Brokkr, what’s the meaning of this?” Valkyrie asked, her voice taking on a commanding tone.

Brokkr scowled. “I need to repair my ship and get to my people, the matter is urgent, and they owe me.”

“I’ll say,” Tony muttered, glancing around with what Thor assumed were his scanners, his keen mind coming up with ways to repair the damage done to Brokkr’s ship.

“We did not come to an agreement before you decided to kidnap us and turn our skulls into glue!” Loki protested.

“Well, why not use something like duct tape instead of glue?” Tony asked, “Less of a curing time and less gruesome.”

“And what is this ‘Duck tape’?” Brokkr demanded.

“Only the most useful of tools,” Loki said, “And much stronger than the glue you were planning on using, that I can guarantee!”

“And according to the Mythbusters, it’s got a light side, a dark side, and it binds the universe together,” Natasha added with a grin.

“I didn't know you used to watch Mythbusters?” the Soldier of Winter asked with wonder in his voice.

“Well, do you have any of this duck tape to prove it’s worth?” Brokkr demanded, and much to Thor’s gratitude, Tony opened up a compartment in his suit and pulled out a roll of novelty Ironman duct tape.

“Observe,” Tony said, pulling off a strip and slapping it on a wall.

Brokkr leaned forward, examining the strip, prodding it with his expert fingers, and examined it with an appraising eye.

“This may be exactly what I need. How long have you Midgardians had this?” Brokkr asked.

“Duct tape was invented and manufactured in 1942 during World War Two by Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division,” Friday’s voice said, taking over Ironman’s speakers for a moment.

Brokkr hummed for a moment before he pulled off a strip himself, “One last test.”

And before anyone could do anything, in a swift but surprisingly gentle motion, he placed the strip across Loki’s mouth.

“There, mayhaps that will teach you not to gamble carelessly in the future,” Brokkr said with a smug grin, and Loki, incensed by the insult, conjured his clothing and brandished his knives at Brokkr, which would have looked much less comical in Thor’s opinion, if his brother’s mouth wasn’t duct taped shut. Thor felt the rope fall the floor as Loki sliced the rope with his daggers.

“Very well, Loki, Son of Frigga, late friend of my beloved mother, I shall consider your debt paid in full if you shall give me sixty stones of this duct tape, and then I shall leave you in peace. Do we have a deal?” Brokkr asked.

“Make that fifty seven stones, and we have a deal,” Loki said, using his seder to magic the tape off his mouth.

“Very well,” Brokkr nodded and held out his hand for Loki to shake.

Loki was about to walk off, when Tony said “We’ll start shipping your duct tape right away, to you, and Loki can start paying off his debt by working for Pepper and Lady Sif, because that’ll be about $2,148.62 he’ll owe me.”

“Not my problem anymore,” Brokkr said with a grin, “You are free to go as soon as my duck tape arrives.”

Stark’s shipment of novelty Ironman Duct Tape arrived within the hour, and Thor was more than happy to change into his clothing, and start his date night in with Tony with a rather enthusiastic show of gratitude.

Epilogue:

“Brokkr, is it finished?”

“Yes, Nebula. Thanks for the tip off of the flerkin found on Midgard. As soon as Thanos arrived to Nidavellir he was defeated and eaten by the secret weapon, and I now am finding ways to utilize the creature into a tighter security for the Dwarves now that Asgard has fallen and New Asgard begins to reestablish itself.”

“Excellent, your payment is on it’s way. Wait, what is that thing you’re holding?”

“Oh, this. My dear friend, might I suggest swinging by Midgard? They have this thing called duck tape, and I am finding a million and one uses for this wonderful substance. For example, when carefully wrapped around a cord like so, it makes for a delightful collar for the attack flerkin.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, stones are an old obscure unit of measurement that equates to 14 pounds, so Loki more or less promised Brokkr 798 pounds of duct tape or 614 rolls, and Tony obviously buys his duct tape in bulk at $3.50 a roll.  
> I don't know why but this is my second fic in a row where I tacked on a random flerkin at the end, but I had started this fic with Brokkr picking up a flerkin in mind...


End file.
